So. Early voting started today in Texas. Everyone, get out and vote. Vote early, vote normal, vote late, whatever. Just vote. Even though I didnt go to bed until 3 am, I was prodded awake at 8-ish by my sister and we went to the courthouse to do so.
Nothing too new to report. I got fucked at worked. Lied to, basically. I hate my job position and thus went in hot pursuit of another. I was told by a manager that she would move me into this position. Then surprise, surprise. After a month of hearing nothing, she hires someone who used to be on cart crew and fucking QUIT. He slacked off when he had that job while I faithfully worked in this position that I hate with every fiber of my being in hopes of moving. LIED TO. IN MY FACE. But it was to be expected of this racist, two-timing asshole of a bitch manager anyway. No love lost because there was none had. I'll go over her head to the store manager and tell him about this. Even though he might not do shit, the story will be out there. If nothing is done, Ill call home office and get the entire management team in hot water. Im really tired of getting fucked over. I can't wait to quit this job and I swear I'll piss on a goddamn register the day I graduate. If I was nasty enough, Id even wipe my ass with my resignation letter and laugh when I throw it at them. Yes, I am cold and cruel-hearted when I get fucked over. Runs in my blood.
I haven't spoken to anyone online for quite some time. My friends diminish quickly. The two close ones I have, I hardly ever see. One is off living MY dream that I just can't seem to reach. The other is living the good, happy life I used to live. That leaves me to work and go to school, come home to do homework, and sleep. No communication with anyone. Even my little RP communities are flaking off a bit because everyone is so busy or off doing something else. Life happens, you know? I just don't like it when mine is so stationary.
School is going slow. Even worse than normal because this crippled old bitch is making it difficult for everyone. So help me God, please don't let me curse this woman out. It's disrespectful, but I'll be damned if she isnt the most idiotic, insensitive bitch in the world deserving of it. I don't even want to talk about the class and Im just minutes away from class starting. Oh, the torture. I'll be talking to the head of the mathematics department as soon as possible to report her ass. At this rate, I'll be in school for the entirety of my young years. I was supposed to be out of this Hellhole by 23. That plan is failing miserably. Being used to the position of leader, it really is a blow to the ego and more to be the one lagging behind everyone else when it feels like I'm working the hardest. I don't know what Im going to do. It just feels like Im wasting away and slowly being driven insane by monotony. Like being on a treadmill. Im running but I'm not going a fucking step.
I guess when I get home I'll put off doing homework because there is no point. If you dont understand it, youre just fucked and I'll fail another test. You wont get sufficient help from that old bitch teacher. I suppose I'll just count my secret "Get The Fuck Outta Here" stash. It was money I was saving to go and visit Carrie. When she died, it turned into a romantic Japan vacation get-away fund. Significant other called it quits. Now I guess it's just money to pay for my plane ticket if/when I get the job I want after graduating. I know I may seem like a miser being happy to count money in my free time, but it's the only sign I have that I'm making any progress toward my goal.
Oh, and since it's become an obsessive issue, I'm focusing on my weight. Looking into a membership. Karate is down the drain. The sensei dont even come to class, so why should I? No students even come anymore. Ive been out of it for months and have no intention of going back until they get their fucking shit together. IF they ever do. They're all flakes except for the injured sensei who isnt allowed anywhere near the gym, courtesy his insurance company. I intended to lose 80 pounds to reach my ieal weight, but Im pushing for more than that. When I get overseas, I dont want to have any problems finding clothes to wear. Im average height for an American girl, but who knows what that means in Japan. And my feet are considered big even by American standards, so I know I wont find any shoes. Great, isn't it? I had plans to hang with the Club Kids in Tokyo Dark Castle and all those other types of places. Even wanted to be a go-go dancer for them. I was serious about it. It's fun and liberating and different if not a little crazy. I was going to be the the splash of color on stage and rub elbows with Sisen and the rest for the simple fact that is was new and exciting. I don't know how likely that is anymore, given that my contact person with all the major connections and I don't even speak anymore. Either way, I'll still try. I won't be the fatty on stage. I'll be the cute gaijin with the beautiful abs and sexy costume that everyone looks at. That's not too much to ask, is it?
Yeah. Time for school.